I get angry a lot. What should I do?

Answer by Shikhar Agarwal:

There once lived a boy who had a bad temper. He would get angry at every little thing. One day, his father gave him a bag of nails and told him, "Every time you get angry, hammer a nail into that front wall."

And so the activity started. On the first day, the boy hammered 50 nails. The next day, he hammered 40. Each time he used to go there, he repented being angry – it was quite a challenge to hammer a nail into that damn brick wall! Slowly, he discovered that controlling anger was easier than hammering, and the number of nails hammered started going down.

Eventually, a day came when he didn't get angry, and he felt the joy of it. Now his father gave him another task, "If you do not get angry the entire day, remove one nail from the wall." After several days, all the nails were removed.

Now his father took him near the wall and asked him what did he see. The boy replied that he can see holes in the wall. The father then explained to his son: "These holes are like the scars that you leave on people when you get angry. No matter how many times you say sorry, the scar does not go."

So I suggest you two things:

  • Realize that words once spoken cannot come back. Your anger hurts others and leaves a sour impression that lasts forever.
  • Each time you get angry, "hammer a nail". Simplest thing you can do is to carry a pocket diary and put a line each time you get angry. Then at night, count the number of lines for that day. If you make this a habit, each time you would get angry, you would be reminded to note it down. Indirectly, you would also realize that you getting angry. And because you are conscious and aware at that time, you would find it easier to control your actions and subdue anger.

I hope the day comes soon when you don't have any line in your diary.

I get angry a lot. What should I do?

What should I do if I hate my software engineer job but not courageous enough to leave it for higher studies? No idea how to bootstrap st…

Answer by Amit Banerjee:

Imagine a Lion.

A young Lion is not as powerful, so he hunts rabbits to make a living. The lion is fed up of hunting rabbits and now wants to hunt down a wildebeest.

But the number of wildebeests in the jungle is very low. And there are more powerful and hungry Lions out there, waiting to kill a wildebeest.

What will happen if that young lion stops hunting rabbits, hoping that he will hunt a wildebeest and satisfy his hunger? There is a high chance that the young lion will starve and die.

So what does the lion do? The lion keeps hunting rabbits, makes friends with other lions, forms a community, asks around where does the wildebeest come to drink water and other things.

He doesn't stop hunting rabbits. He knows that he is not equipped enough to hunt down a wildebeest and has to hunt Rabbits to continue making a living.

The Lion waits, gathers information, collects other fellow lions and tries to hunt a small wildebeest. With repeated failures, hustling and determination, he succeeds in cracking down a bigger one.

You are that young lion, fed up of hunting rabbits. You dream of hunting a wildebeest but keep wondering how. Ask other lions, form a group, watch wildebeests from a distance. But don't stop hunting rabbits.

One day you will crack a wildebeest down.

Then another one. Then another one.

And then you will get bored of hunting down wildebeests. Then you would want to hunt an Elephant.

This goes on.

Moral: Don't focus too much on your prey or hunger. It will never be enough. You will always have confusion, depression and that itch to make things better, no matter what you are doing. The trick is to control your own mind and find a balance between expectation and reality.

What should I do if I hate my software engineer job but not courageous enough to leave it for higher studies? No idea how to bootstrap st…